Furiously Bri

A recap about my CPTSD: I have dealt with childhood trauma, relationship trauma, a car accident that scarred me mentally, and jobs that didn’t treat me well. I have spent the last 6 years healing from all of this and becoming my own person, and while it’s been strenuous, it’s been worth it.

Just a couple of years ago, I was afraid of speaking my mind. I was still having nightmares about things my ex did. I was struggling with my own demons in so many ways because I didn’t have the tools to handle it all. I felt lost, alone, and most of all, like a shell of a person. My husband told me he believed I would find myself again, and I was never sure I would, because I never knew who that person was to begin with.

Now, when I look at the list of people I’ve blocked, I don’t regret the boundaries I’ve set or bridges I’ve burned. I released myself from old beliefs and found new ones. I established values within myself that I was told I was ignorant to believe. I have coping mechanisms, such as journaling, reading, exercising, gaming, and coloring to get me through hard times. I am not actively looking for new connections but accepting ones that come along naturally that would make me feel safe. I am proud of myself for how far I’ve come.

Needless to say, I still have so much to do. I still get triggered and have emotional responses in situations where I need to be objective. I am working on the issue of overstimulation. I am working on patience. It’s a long journey, but looking back, I’m doing amazing.

Something I’ve thought about releasing on this blog is poetry. Reflections of where I’ve been and where I’m going. Potentially some pieces I’ve already written years ago when I started this journey. People need to see that progress isn’t linear and the emotions tied to mental disorders because it’s much more complex than people on the outside realize.

I will add a new page here when I’m ready to write. I hope it’ll be something that benefits other people.

Thank you for reading! Please ensure you follow me on Instagram and Twitch because I will be sharing things there as well!