Furiously Bri

Drinking was something I took as a milestone when I was able to do it. I wanted to feel free to express myself and handle social events and the only way I wasn’t tense was from drinking.

However, that feeling over the years was always followed by depressive episodes after a while. I would feel like my entire life was a disaster and my mental disorders were burdens I couldn’t be free from. My last drink was on September 25th, 2022. I decided to stop drinking because that weekend was my anniversary weekend with my husband and after a single drink I was crying about things that mattered but didn’t matter at that moment. I couldn’t live in the moment or focus on having a good time anymore, and I felt alcohol was constantly burdening me in the back of my mind until I came down from the drunkness. Mind you, after I turned 22, I didn’t drink very often, it was mostly if it was social or if I was just craving something different to drink (much like using it as a dessert), but the effect was still the same.

It’s been nearly a year and I do not regret my decision. I am more mindful and happy because I don’t bottle things up and let them out when the drink is done. I am exercising and in therapy, journaling, and blogging, and I am considering getting a plant because I have been seeing how therapeutic it is for my friends and want to see if it is helpful for me as well. I have been working on my communication skills which include being kinder to myself so that I can be kinder to others, which does not require alcohol.

We can live a life and gain new skills with new tools, but I don’t think alcohol should be used as one of these tools. I think it disguises itself as a good time, which it can be for some, but for me, it is a bad time with 30 minutes of fun. I am glad to have a mocktail and be one with my feelings.

If you feel you have a problem or need help quitting drinking, please don’t feel shame in getting resources to help you. Whether you drink daily or once in a while, if you feel alcohol shouldn’t be present in your life, you’re choosing what is healthy for you and you should never feel judged for it.